Dietary Issues and Week in Review Sunday, January 15th

It’s a tough night in the Brown household.

No, it’s not because the fiber bars have been working overtime (although that’s true, too), it’s because we’ve just said goodbye to this year’s football season as we know it.

(Cue Taps here…)

Green Bay has ridden the last cheese train into the sky tonight.  Giants: you won fair and square.  Sure your jerseys look like you’re trying too hard to prove that you’re patriotic.  Yeah, your name is slightly offensive to everyone over 6’7.  True, everyone thinks that the Northeast has way too many football teams in comparison with, say, every other part of the nation (Jets, Giants, and Pats for the square mileage equivalent to a day of bad directions in the Brownmobile?  Really?).

But, you won.  And I hope you get stomped from now on.

Sports watching is an integral part of The Year of Health.  We all need hobbies, and while it may be true that I don’t actually play football (although I was defensive coordinator for a losing flag football team in seminary), I love it.  It is my pastime.  And we all need a pastime to keep us sane.  Aikman and Buck drown out the voices in my head that tell me not to have that second brat.  And for that, I thank them heartily…even if I deeply dislike Joe Buck.  I’ve heard better broadcasting commentary at a Middle School pep rally.

But we’re coming up on an ambitious week here in The Year of Health.  It’s “Tackle that Diet” week.

Its become abundantly clear to me that I’m going to have to change some of my dietary habits (read: all of them) if I’m going to lose some of this weight.  Running and lifting will shape my body, sure.  But there is still that layer of fat insulating me with enough padding that I probably don’t need shin guards or a chest protector to play hockey.

I have to lose the gear.  And so I’m going to tackle the diet.

This won’t be easy, though.

Tomorrow my workout is skiing with 21 youth in the hills of Wisconsin.  While that undoubtedly will test my athletic ability to the point of crying “uncle” at the mere sight of a ski pole, it will also mean my first test of different eating habits will be made within the confines of a ski lodge where I will hanker for a hot chocolate, comfort foods, and possibly ice chips (depending on if I knock out any teeth on the slopes).

Nothing is worse than trying to watch what you eat when everyone is wearing puffy coats.  It gives you the impression that everyone is as fat as you, until the snow pants come off and you realize that Kate Moss and Ryan Gosling lookalikes have been masquerading as Mama Cass and John Candy, respectively.

And I really don’t want to do “diets.”  I’ve controlled weight before by this simple equation (get a pen and/or pencil): burn more calories than you eat.

Or, for your math nerds, if x is the number of calories you eat, and y is the number of calories you burn, x<y.

And no, I don’t want to drink a shake that tastes like strawberry ass.  And no I don’t want to eat a cookie the size of quarter and call it a meal.

And sure, I could eat 6 small meals a day…but I don’t consider a hand full of cashews a meal, and I sure as hell don’t consider a bowl of cottage cheese a meal.

I think that we can be sensible here, folks.  You just eat fewer calories than you burn.

But I won’t go crazy.  A friend of mine talked about an acquaintance who was only consuming a net of 400 calories a day.  That reminds me of the scene from Drop Dead Gorgeous where the beauty queen runs 18 miles a day on 400 calories…and she brushes her hair and it falls out.

Nope; that’s not my style.

And it’s not my style to eat 19 eggs for breakfast like I’m Gaston from Beauty and Beast.  While my sidekick in life is short like la Fool (looking at you, Adam), I have no desire to be the muscular “size of a barge.”

Normal health for a normal dude.  Which means I can have a normal, sustainable diet.

But that starts tomorrow.  So while I eat this pizza, you can eat your judgments.  I suggest you eat them with hot sauce.  Passing judgment should always burn (and usually it burns more than once).

Weight at beginning of the week: 231

Weight at the end of the week: 232 (doh!)

Flossing: regular

Cultural activities: cursed at the TV during the Packers game

Spiritual health: 5 days prayer/meditation

Number of days running: 2

Number of days lifting: 2


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: