We live with a bundle of cells that is now quite mobile. And apparently he has an opinion about how we’ve structured our household items.
He generally thinks they are organized improperly.
For instance, recently he’s taken to organizing our DVD’s.
I’ve taken to being irritated about it.
You might say everyone is in their respective camps…
What’s that? “Who has DVD’s anymore?” you ask?
I do. They’re going to make a come back, you know. Like records. And as soon as you all figure out that cable companies are actually stealing your life (and your brain), and that they’re sucking information about your habits and preferences and then selling them back to you in the form of fliers in your mail, spam in your inbox, and “ads” in your news feed, you’ll go back to DVD’s, too.
Because the only person who can tell if I’ve watched one of our DVD’s is my wife.
Usually because it’s either a) not put back in the box and still in the DVD player (we have one of those, too, although you have to blow in it to get it to run…like a Nintendo Entertainment System…but whatev, it works) or b) it’s stacked on top of another DVD in a different box that was closer in proximity to the empty case at the time it was removed from the DVD player.
But, see, that’s my organizing system.
And now we have this little bundle of cells called Finn crawling around and rearranging everything, including my DVD’s.
And it’s super frustrating for both of us. For him it’s frustrating because they don’t open like books…so when one doesn’t open, he goes to the next one expecting a different result. One day life will teach him a valuable lesson about repeating the same thing over and over again expecting different results (can’t remember what you call that, but there’s a word for it), but until then…
I just lost my train of thought.
Anyway, he’ll learn he shouldn’t do that one day.
It’s frustrating for me because I’m now going out of my mind cleaning up DVD cases every two damn minutes.
It’s probably why I’m always losing my train of thought these days. I’m sleep deprived because I’m constantly cleaning up DVD’s.
It has gotten so bad that I’m not even that pissed that one DVD series is mixed into a different one (and that they’re not even remotely in the same genre). Normally that would be irritating. But I don’t even find that so irritating anymore.
I’m just generally pissed that they’re all over the floor.
Having a kid means constantly living in the movie Groundhog’s Day. I continually step on things over and over and over again. Especially toys.
But it’s always the same toy: that damn tambourine. And no matter how far I kick it, it somehow migrates back to right in the middle of the hallway outside of his room.
It hides in the dark, playing it’s own little version of The Most Dangerous Game.
(My toes are the prey…)
And that of course wakes him up, which means I have to go into his room and pat his diaper for ten minutes (which, ironically, makes the same noise as like when you wave a pom pom, kinda like you’re cheering him to sleep: “Yay, quiet! Soooo quiet!”).
And then after ten minutes I sneak back out and step back on that blasted tambourine…and, well, crap.
I’m not a neat freak. Anyone who has seen my office knows this. But even I don’t think a valid organizational method is “all on the floor.”
And, yes, I know he’s not thinking like that. His major mental task for the day seems to be finding new crevices to hide cheerios in (seriously, every time I lift him out of the high chair it’s like a deluge of food comes cascading onto the floor in some “miracle of abundance” demonstration).
But still…if we’re naming things he’s good at, in no particular order:
-staring closely at buttons and zippers
-eating and going to the bathroom
-letting us know he’s unhappy/happy/tired/hurt/excited/confused by screaming
Things he’s not good at:
-picking up toys
-prying off the tops of non-domestic beer bottles
-brushing his own teeth (though he does like to have it done)
I’d go through my own list of talents/growing edges, but this blog has gone on long enough. Suffice to say, the kid sucks at organizing things.
And that’s disheartening because, well, they’ll be his one day and he needs to know that The Office does not belong in the West Wing rack (though I can see how he could be confused about that…offices are confusing).